What if it is JUST what it is...

life that is. We so badly want a reason for life, a reason we suffer and a reason we die. What if it is only those things. Our life. Our suffering. Our joys. Our death.
Why do we get something more than that? And when we believe we should get more for "suffering" or being "good" do we negate our life here by not living it with intent and purpose? Do we run from experiences cause they might send us to hell or cause us to sin when in reality it is going to advance our own enlightenment and our own spiritual growth?

What if is what it is and not what it is not.

A Rumi poem

My heart is so small
it's almost invisible.
How can You place
such big sorrows in it?

"Look," He answered,
"your eyes are even smaller,
yet they behold the world."

~ Rumi ~


I love the book Women who run with wolves...its about archetypes of women using stories or myths. I have been stuck on The Skeleton Woman for a few years as every time i read it I have a new layer of understanding. Sometimes it brings up sorrows and pain to remember i did not understand the Life/Death/Life cycle of relationships and think "would it have made a difference?" and yet I know I am where i am suppose to be.
One sentence that struck out at me AGAIN was Not to fear our hearts being broken but trust they will heal. Cause broken hearts will happen unless we simply dont love. And Love IS the only thing that matters in this world...The ONLY thing. But being open and loving can being pain...pain brings growth and enlightenment and one loves more....more pain/more enlightenment/more love.

Sometimes that realization can be overwhelming.

again...October

Its awesome!!!
Witches Ball, Halloween Party, Burlesque show, New year ritual and bonfire, Day of the Dead... I LOVE these celebrations for Oct and Early Nov...
then im ready to hibernate for winter.... I have my firewood stacked, and quilts on the couch and hot teas in the cupboard...
Come on Winter..im just awaitin for those cold days and freezing nights.

I will miss cleo sleeping with me to keep me warm. She was my main queen dog... 120# of pure love and happiness to be living with us. She died unexpectedly of heart failure at 7 years old--neo mastiffs and most big dogs dont live exceptionally long times.
We rescued her from Ky and as soon as she got to my house she threw herself on my bed and declared whose "bitch" She was ( or I was maybe !!!)

I will miss you this winter cleo

epiphanies

when the universe speaks to me....i listen. In fact I record too!!
I spend a lot of time on the road so its also my thinking time, my thoughts meandering all over the place. I have some pretty cool ideas and solve many issues this way.
Today it was like 3 enlightenments and I had to turn my phones voice recorder so i could say the words.. I needed to say them and then hear them.
Its interesting how I can hear someone say something that cause me to pause a moment and reflect what they are saying..and it stays with me. And for days I mull it over..mostly trying to see how i really feel about it or believe about it. Maybe it is something I have even considered and now will.

I firmly believe we are spiritual beings having this human experience we designed or desired or requested--heck there may even be "wild cards" that one signs up for and its ALL a big surprise!!! So when i am hit with clarification of my experiences--I listen!!!

Seeing a bigger picture

It is easy and quite normal to have tunnel vision in life. We see events or actions and only put them in the context of the NOW and react/respond accordingly. It takes a lot of thought, patience and deep breathing to see or at least understand there is so much more to what is going on. Far more is going on that we dont see than what we see.
I am not against boundaries for those times where it is called for such as those lashing out or sucking energy or manipulating but even those things have a bigger context they evolved from. People lash out because they are scared, hurt or in pain and sometimes dont even know it.
I remember a movie once where scene just made me emotionally aware of the consequences of how we treat others--2 woman not the best of friends and at the opposite end of social lives. One is very snooty and has the "perfect married life" and the other is single and sleeps around a lot (due to some serious pain) but when the first gal finds out her husband is having an affair and lashes out at the 2nd gal in sorrow and pain, the 2nd gal looks at her and comes up and just hugs her and lets her get beyond the accusation stage and helps her feel the pain by being in her space and getting beyond the blame.
So often a hug is what makes a difference..not words and not books and not seminars but simply a hug from someone with no judgements.
Always there is a bigger picture in life...

the important stuff

re: the end of the year meanderings.....

Remembering that of all things-relationships are the most vital and most sustaining ad the only experience we could possibly take with us to the next life/existence if there is one. The people in our life teach us so much and allow us to acknowledge the importance of others in our own journey.
Recently i did a favor for a friend-- covered for her so she could go to a long awaited event which meant i would miss it. Little did i know until later when she wrote to thank me how important and vital this was for her. How emotionally needful this was for her when in reality it was something i could go to or not.
To know I helped another person on their path makes me glad i paid attention to what was really important in life--not an event, not going to a seminar but instead loving another person.

Planning my Samhain costume party--Halloween- has been a source of fun and delight!! Satan is my Pimp is the theme and i cant wait to put on my lighted Devil horns and dance about!!!

The end of the year

Oct is the last day of the month in Celtic beliefs...it is time to wind down and get ready for winter. It is also time to remove from ones life old stuff, things not needed, emotions being held onto, illusions we insist on believing and anything that no longer serves us. Time to remove them and begin thinking of the new year/new life ahead.
Having a ritual bonfire on Oct 31 and writing down everything one wants to get rid of is powerful and can bring cleansing to our spirits. Fall is the end of harvest time and getting ready for the sleep of winter..the much needed resting and maybe even thinking of new things for spring.
i feel so many of my "stuffs" are ready to be thrown out. Things I had hoped for this year, goals i had set which got way laid or thrown a curve. I do feel its time to be done with wanting something and just rest for a few months and maybe another idea will germinate and spring up to surprise me.
Putting away these things can be hard and we often fight against it cause they are like comfort blankets..they wrap us up in warmth and cpziness and we dont want to be without them. Even when they are working we keep dreams and hopes alive--even when its obvious we have outgrown them or just need to put them aside for awhile.
Oct it s good month to think about resting things we want.. give ourselves a break and just Be for while. Winter is a sleeping/resting/transformation time so that in spring we can come out new and invigorated and ready for action!!!