January

My fav month..cause well it is my birthday and on the luckiest day of all...the 13th!
So kids..if your reading this..here is what i want:
my car completely waxed and cleaned, new haircut and breakfast in bed :)

I will be 49..my last year in the 40s decade. In some ways the 40s have been the hardest but at the same time the most amazing and spiritually enlightening. I am going to enjoy this last year of 40s and have some fun for ME!!
I want to live each day with PRESENCE and IN the NOW. I want to figure out my purpose and path and keep on doing what is right for me. I look forward to my 50s-- the crone years are going to be very awesome as i have my kids leaving home and i can then really focus on what i want to do..where i want to go and how long i will stay. It is a transitional time right now..school, new directions of learning and finding out what interests me.
So wish me a Fun and enlightening birthday.

Yeah....what SHE says......

'cause truth is not for the mind to know, it's for the Spirit to feel.""""

End of School year

WHEW!I just took my final test for school this year..and i am DONE until Jan 5th. This is my first year in college and it has been tough at times juggling 2 school enrollments, 2 business's,various kids,single mom, getting settled into a new area, new roof, leaking sinks,catching 30 babies this year, and LOTs more going on.. but i DID IT!!
I am proud of myself for DOING the next thing..doing what needs to be done TODAY cause sometimes thats ALL i could emotionally and physically DO. I am one year closer to my Bachelors of Science in midwifery and really im learning a lot. I still do school work in chunks of time-- intense 4 or 5 hours then off for 2 days.. and so much of the work is research and writing!
So for the next 2 weeks, Im gonna rest, not read any textbooks, and enjoy yule with my kids and friends.
Maybe go to a party on New years Eve and HAVE FUN!!!

May the Yule season bring you love and kindness and charity and warmth!!!

When will women learn....

that Male oriented medicine does NOT benefit women. We are NOT important to western medicine and never will be. We are guinea pigs and a source of LOTS of money to the medical system. DO you think they care if we have to cut off our breasts? or cut out our uterus when we are past what they consider childbearing years? As if the only reason we have these body parts is to produce children?? Do we really think they care about us as women holistically? If they dont, then WHY in effin freakin hell do we allow MEN to diagnose and PRACTICE medicine on us?????????????????



Study confirms HRT linked to breast cancer

and bribery at the Nobel Peace Prize Awards

Little Wonder Lyrics


Let it go
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

Let it slide
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine,
Till you feel it all around you
And I don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away somehow
But I cannot forget
the way I feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Yeah, these twisted turns of fate
Time falls away
Yeah, but these small hours,
These small hours
Still remain

Yeah, oh they still remain
These little wonders
All these twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders
Still remain

Ever the same

"Ever The Same"

We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding to me
Like a someone broken
And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now

Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down

Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you forever in me
Ever the same

We would stand in the wind
We were free like water
Flowing down
Under the warmth of the sun
Now it's cold and we're scared
And we've both been shaken
Hey, look at us
Man, this doesn't need to be the end

Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down

Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me
Forever it's you
Forever in me
Ever the same

You may need me there
To carry all your weight
But you're no burden I assure
You tide me over
With a warmth I'll not forget
But I can only give you love

Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me
Forever it's you
Forever in me
Ever the same

Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same(Ever the same)

Yule

I have to say Yule is not my favorite season. I love some of the traditions of Yule but i hate the religious aspects of it. Since Every thing done on yule from the tree, to the wreath, to presents to decorating is pagan, its just wrong that a religious group has made this very pagan celebration a religious event. If they would do JUST a bit of research they would realize the birth story aint about Jesus..but Mostly about Mithras..one of many Gods born of a virgin (which by the way means a not married woman) and even born on Dec 25th. So really Mithras is the reason for the season..THOUGH this sect was very anti woman and only for celibate men...

Anyway.. i do have Yule things going on. Since i have 9 kids we all drew 3 names each for gift giving, they each have to do something in the month of Dec that is giving to the community or a person without any giving back and on the day we open gifts they must bring a poem or something to read and then each makes a dish for the meal. I have a live tree up, as much pagan stuff as i can find :) and a very cute ice skating penguin which will always have a special place in my heart.
so Happy Yule to All and i pray love finds a way to your life and that Peace is that which we all endeavor for within our own world.

December

I love winter. The slowing down, the cooler weather, the fire and cooking lots of soups and stews.
Yesterday and Today though we have had VAST amounts of rain so that my pond is overflowing and creating a river down the hill into the pasture where the little creek is. The pond is right outside our back door maybe 3o feet..and i was concerned it would overflow to the house..but it has not. this is the first time it has been back to normal and beyond since the bad drought summer of 07. I hope those 100 catfish babies i put in the pond in the spring are HAPPY!!!

Prop 8 Musical

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Not the Loss Alone

Not the loss alone,
But what comes after.
If it ended completely
At loss, the rest
Wouldn't matter.

But you go on.
And the world also.

And words, words
In a poem or song:
Aren't they a stream
On which your feelings float?

Aren't they also
The banks of that stream
And you yourself the flowing?

~ Gregory Orr ~

During the hardest of times, the most sorrowful days, the nights of grief and regret, I have always turned to Words to help me navigate my feelings. I find the words of others who understand the pain or sorrow to be comforting and empowering. Over the last few years I have kept a collection of poems/prose/quotes that when i read them now, I can remember why i choose each piece. It is also like a journal of my journey during those dark times. I can see myself climbing out of the darkness and venturing towards peace and light even though it was a slow process.
Sorrow, Regret, Loss and Pain are all part of what we call life on this earth. Even though words of others can help make sense of our emotions, there is nothing like a big hug from a friend to make all right with the world--at least for that moment.

logos

Logos

Why wonder about the loaves and the fishes?
If you say the right words, the wine expands.
If you say them with love
and the felt ferocity of that love
and the felt necessity of that love,
the fish explode into the many.
Imagine him, speaking,
and don't worry about what is reality,
or what is plain, or what is mysterious.
If you were there, it was all those things.
If you can imagine it, it was all those things.
Eat, drink, be happy.
Accept the miracle.
Accept, too, each spoken word
spoken with love.

~ Mary Oliver ~